Are You Dating Your Father? Did You Marry Your Dad?


You knew there was something familiar about your husband or boyfriend from the day you met him. Something you couldn’t quite put your finger on, but still, it was there. Then one day it hits you: He reminds you of your dad!

Dating Your Father

Ever wonder why so many couples look alike? It could be because women seek out men with similarities to themselves … and their dads!

Whether this sends you screaming from the house or smiling with nostalgia, it’s a strong belief among some experts that women do, in fact, seek out men who are like their fathers.

According to one camp, it’s because women sometimes have difficult relationships with their fathers, therefore their marrying a man like him is a way to try to resolve some of their ongoing childhood issues. Others say that women simply like the familiarity of being around someone like their dad.

It’s probably fair to say that most women don’t set out looking for a man that reminds them of their father, but if you think hard about it, chances are that you’ll come up with at least a few threads in common (men, you can do this too by comparing yourself to your girlfriend’s or wife’s father).

Women Choose Men Who Resemble Their Dad

A study by researchers at the University of Pécs in Hungary found that a process called “sexual imprinting” causes women to marry men who look like dad. In short, women’s attachment to their fathers during childhood has a long-lasting effect that influences their later mating preferences.

“There seems to be an advantage for animals to select a mate somewhat similar to themselves genetically,” said one of the study’s researchers, Glenn Weisfeld, a human ethologist at Wayne State University, in a New Scientist article.

“One good possibility is that there are some fortuitous genetic combinations, which are retained in the offspring if both parents are similar,” he says. “In humans there is evidence to show a lower rate of miscarriage.”

Oh No! He’s Just Like My Father!

Oh No! He's Just Like My Father!

“Oh No! He’s Just Like My Father!” is a witty and endearing book for women of all ages. Whether childhood issues are holding you back from growing in your relationship, or you are simply unsure of what you’re looking for in a man, this book will help you to eliminate destructive patterns and identify the things that matter most.

The findings may also explain why many couples tend to look similar to one another.

Women Prefer Men to Smell Like Dad

Along with looks, it turns out women also like men who smell like their fathers, according to a University of Chicago study. When women were asked to smell two-day-old men’s T-shirts, and asked to choose which sent they’d prefer if they had to sniff it for the rest of their lives, they chose scents from men who had disease-fighting genes similar to their father’s and their own.

According to the researchers, this suggests that our preferences are based on producing children with the best chances of survival — and these children would come from a partner with an “intermediate blend” (not too similar, not too different) of disease-fighting genes.

What About Women Who Don’t Know or Don’t Like Their Fathers?

Clearly, marrying a man like dad is ideal for women with caring, intelligent and loyal fathers. But does this mean that women whose fathers are less-than-ideal will end up marrying hard-hearted, selfish men? Or that women who don’t know their fathers will end up unable to find Mr. Right?

Hardly. While women are influenced by their fathers, for good and for bad, they are also influenced by their mothers. Women without respectable dads, or with no dad at all, will likely seek out the characteristics they admire in their mother in their mate, and likely also in themselves. Be careful though. Some women without fathers will repeat the same mistakes their mothers made, and choose men that are unreliable and unsupportive.